March 9, 2013
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Goodbye Richard
We at Table 54 are saying goodbye today to a special friend of ours, Mr. Richard C. Dreher. Richard, 96, was the first person to join our community over ten years ago. He passed away on Monday, March 4th 2013. His obituary in the Toledo Blade called him “a beautiful soul,” but he was so much more than that. He was the kind of man you hope your son will grow up to be like.
Catherine and Fred Dreher turned over a cabbage leaf in their garden on July 22nd 1916 and lo and behold, there was baby Richard. This was an appropriate birth for him as he enjoyed gardening his whole life. In fact, he was very good at it. Richard grew everything from fruit trees to every vegetable imaginable. He even supplied local markets with his huge, scrumptious raspberries in the 1990s.
Richard graduated from Scott High School in 1934. He was a good student and an avid sportsman, winning All City honors as captain of the school’s football team. He was even offered a scholarship to Toledo University but he turned it down to help his family during the end of the Great Depression. That should give you an inkling into the kind of man Richard grew to be.
In his early years, Richard worked in a cabinet shop where he learned the carpentry skills that would help him to excel in his work throughout his long life. He also worked as an athletic instructor at Auburndale Elementary School, and as a head usher at Avalon Theatre. It was at Avalon that Richard encountered a man with a gun intent on robbing the Theatre. The gunman was no match for Richard who managed to talk him into surrendering both himself and his weapon. One of the greatest moments in his life occurred at Avalon Theatre – Richard met Grace Mercereau, the love of his life and future wife.
Sensing the coming trouble, Richard enlisted in the Army Air Force in February, 1941. He completed his basic training at Kelly Field in San Antonio and graduated with honors from the Flying Fortress School in Seattle. Upon graduation, he returned home to Ohio where he married Gracie. He was fortunate to have his wife with him while he was stationed in both Phoenix, Arizona, and Rosewell, New Mexico. During his military service, Richard was offered the chance to attend Officer Training School. Once again he turned down the offer in order to remain with his family. He left the service as a Staff Sergent in 1945.
Back home again, he opened his own cabinet shop. He intended to start a garage building company, being astute enough to know the Toledo area didn’t have one. However, being the solid individual he was, and not a financial risk taker, Richard opted to join the Comte construction company and soon became their chief superintendent. He supervised the construction of many area churches including the Gesu Church in 1958.
Richard had a 30 year career as a construction superintendent working for Comte, Ruihley and Kuerten, Bostleman and The Douglas Company. He was a “hands on” manager, and could always be found wheeling concrete or having lunch on a nail keg with his fellow workers. In 2005 he was awarded a “gold union card” for fifty years of continuous membership in the Brotherhood of Carpenters and Joiners.
Aside from his construction work, Richard led a full life and never gave less than 100% at any endeavor he choose to take up. He was president of the Wernert PTA and the Whitmer Athletic Boosters. He served on the board of West Toledo’s YMCA and started the popular dances there in the late 1950s. He also organized Christmas tree sales to provide “Y” memberships for needy children and restored buildings at Camp Storer. He served as a delegate at the International Y’s Men’s conferences in Europe.
His charity work in Toledo is renowned. He was awarded the JC Penney’s “Golden Rule Award” in 1993 and even received a letter of commendation from the White House. He was nominated several times for Volunteer of the Year in Toledo.
Richard spent countless hours working at Mobile Market, the Northwest Ohio Rehabilitation Center, the Epilepsy Foundation, the Luther Home of Mercy and for the Wildwood Metro Park. If his plate wasn’t full enough, Richard also transported ‘old’ folks to various appointments around the city.
Somehow Richard found time to be an award winning gardener working with Ohio State University. This included raising rabbits and chickens too. His gardening led to his making his own wine, which won state awards. Add to that his hobbies of making hooked rugs, wood crafts, Christmas decorations and a variety of other crafts and you begin to realize this was a man who knew how to fill time in his life.
In 2002, Richard and his wife, Gracie, moved into the brand spanking new retirement home of Alexis Gardens. Unfortunately, Gracie’s health began to fail and he lost his beloved life’s companion several months later. His grief abated, Richard began to make himself useful to his new community by constructing outside garden boxes, assembling furniture, gardening and even by serving tea at breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Richard always found ways to make new residents feel welcome. When ‘Y’ joined the community, in July of 2011, he breakfasted with Richard at his table and Richard filled him in on the whys and wherefores concerning the community. As the years passed, Richard’s body wore down. By 2012 he was relegated to filling salt and pepper shakers in the dining room. Richard was a hard man to get to relax. After a few stints in the hospital and rehabilitation, Richard wasn’t able to speak and be understood as he once had. Finally, death overtook this remarkable person last week.
We called Richard the “Mayor” of Alexis Gardens. At our 10th Anniversary celebration he was crowned ‘King’ for the day, an honor that caused this humble man to blush. We will always miss Richard greatly, but he will be remembered as his picture resides on our Wall of Honor in the atrium.
- Y
More information on Richard can be found in the Toledo Blade, 3/10/2013. Check it out!
- Y
Comments (16)
Sorry to hear of his passing.
Thanks Musterion, he was a great guy to know!
-Y
I am very sorry he has left us. Now he re-joins the love of his life, and can finally truly rest. I hope wherever he is, he is gloriously peaceful.
A wonderful, heartfelt tribute to a wonderful guy who led a full life.
My condolences.
Beautiful story
Aww, what a lovely tribute to celebrate and commemorate your deceased friend. I am so sorry for your loss. Love his smile in both pics, one can tell he flashed that through almost all his adventures:]
@Midnight_Masochist -
Yes, M&M that’s exactly what some would say. Richard is one of those lucky ones who now knows the truth of that statement! Thanks!
- Y
Appreciate your words, Moses. A lot of people here only wish they could have led a life as full and rewarding as Richard!
- Y
About a beautiful man, Nina. In fact, beautiful doesn’t begin to cover it! Thank you!
- Y
And Celebrate we did. Richard would have wanted it that way. In fact, he would have wanted to celebrate with us. And you’re right about his smile! Thanks for noticing.
- Y
What a beautiful, living memorial of your friend!
This means so much to me right now I really haven’t read the whole thing.
I am sorry, it is so beautiful (that I can’t look at it) kind of thing?
reminds me of the way the sun hurts my eyes after I been cooped up all winter. Kind of hurts but then the glare is somehow welcome too?
My good friend has a decent idea to promote more of this kind of right thinking.
For some emotional background, he had lost his mom and I have lost grandparents within the same span of recent years.
Thank you very much. We live in an independent living retirement home. Unlike a nursing home, it means the people here are pretty much able to take care of themselves. After a few years some end up in nursing homes because they need full time care. Some, like Richard, manage to stay until they pass away. The residents here are at the age when they’re very acquainted with death and the prospects it has for them. Most of us no longer fear the consequences of dying. It seems as natural as coming down to dinner to us. We’re in no hurry to die, but those of us in our 80s and 90s know that death is wearing out horses getting to us. Richard certainly did. Perhaps the finest days of his long life were the past six months as he felt his body change from the man who could do almost anything himself to a man who could hardly walk, hardly talk, hardly see. But he had friends here. Friends he knew for a long time and he loved us as we loved him. I cannot tell you how much of a difference that makes as you come to the end of your road.
- Y
“those of us in our 80s and 90s know that death is wearing out horses getting to us. Richard certainly did.”
and
“he had friends here. Friends he knew for a long time and he loved us as we loved him. I cannot tell you how much of a difference that makes as you come to the end of your road.”
Honestly, is this how you feel?
Yes, it is. It’s not something we dwell on. You might say it’s just below the surface. About every three months or so someone leaves us. It’s pretty hard not to recognize that you’re day is coming someday as well. It’s not something we feel sad about (unless there are unfinished business in our relationships), it’s that when you get to our age it’s inevitable. E, a member of our Table, is 85 years old. Now he’s not feeling that he’s leaving tomorrow. He could have another 10 or 15 years left. But he is well aware at how fast those years fly by at our age.
Example. We had a friend named John who sat at Table 54 with us. John was in his 90s but was a very active gentleman. He was developing a business where he wanted to sell plastic railroad cross-ties to replace rotted wooden ones. He worked tirelessly on his project, calling railroad companies and discussing his plans. Often Y would drive him to Office Max to make copies of letters he would send out. John used a walker and always walked around the building to keep his legs in shape. One day he showed up at the Table in a power wheelchair. We kidded with him that his legs would not carry his weight if he stayed in that chair. He said his hips bothered him that day, but otherwise he seemed in perfect health. He chatted and teased the way he always did. The next day he was back to using his walker. The day after we heard he was taken to the hospital. Two days later we got the report that John was now in the care of Hospice. Less than a week later, our friend passed away.
John left us quickly and I could tell you other stories of good friends that left us the same way. Were we sad? Of course we were. But usually the conversation about them goes like this. “Well, John now has the answer to that unanswerable question of, ‘What happens when you die?’” The rest of us nod our heads and say, “Yep, lucky bastard. We’re still guessing along with everybody else.”
You see, we live with the reality of our demise. We don’t worry about it. We’re not scared of it. We just know that ultimately, it’s coming. I guess that’s why a lot of our discussions here at Table 54 are about religion – the way we see the truth of it. We’ve all lived long lives (some longer than others) and we’ve seen the effects belief has had on us. So we talk about it. Some people don’t like the things we say, we understand that. But this is our experience of life, so we pass it on here in our blog for whatever is of value to others.
Thanks for your question. You’re an honest young man with a lot of life ahead of you. There’s a lot you can learn from Richard’s story. He wasn’t much of a church-going man. He wanted to help people that surrounded him in the community he lived it. He felt that was a much more valuable way to spend his time than sitting in a church pew. If you had to put a label on him we guess you could call him a secular humanist. He believed it was more important to serve his fellow man than to bother with religion. He built churches. He didn’t spend time in them.
Hope this helps.
- Y
@Table54 - Personally, I hope you have many more fruitful and satisfying years ahead of you. Of the new Xangonians I’ve met in the last month, you’re one of the most pleasant and affable, despite some of our different viewpoints. I really appreciate those that know how to maintain courtesy and respect in a forum where many have long ago lost it.
Thank you very much M’am. I’m sure we’ll be around for quite a while. Differing viewpoints are what makes the world interesting. They are valuable quantities that should be well guarded. Thanks again.
-Y